I'm curious as to why you think the definition is solely up to women? As women obviously I will have greater insights into how all this gender bullshit works since it largely exists to police mine and other women's existence but am I the ultimate authority? Why?
"this thing seems to exist and I am comfortable proceeding in a discussion with this proposition accepted"
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It exists as a cultural phenomenon clearly and I think most people agree but the fighting is over what it actually describes and if women are allowed to fucking hate it (many of us do) when others love it so much they want to make it a legitimate legal category.
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people who find gender aesthetic vs those who find it antiaesthetic