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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
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    1. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      QC Retweeted QC

      6. for me it's especially helpful to relate to my parts as small children (which they often are in some sense), so i can feel compassion for their suffering see also:https://twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/status/1192601917970505729 …

      QC added,

      QC @QiaochuYuan
      Internal Puppy Systems might help: https://twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/status/1184249534190256128 …
      Show this thread
      1 reply 1 retweet 35 likes
      Show this thread
    2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      7. the way many people emotionally self-regulate in practice is by either fighting an emotional energy with another one (e.g. sadness with anger as above) or shutting their emotions down generally; @Meaningness also talks about this; there's another way! https://vividness.live/2012/07/03/unclogging/ …pic.twitter.com/LKzFbJYyk6

      1 reply 3 retweets 50 likes
      Show this thread
    3. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      8. it is possible to let go of the stance that emotions have any fixed meaning. feeling fear doesn't have to mean you're weak; feeling sadness doesn't have to mean you're a crybaby; feeling anger doesn't have to mean you're bad or evil much easier to allow emotion this way

      2 replies 5 retweets 54 likes
      Show this thread
    4. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      9. you don't have to do emotional regulation alone, although sometimes you may have no other choice. we naturally regulate each other. being around a calm person who's attuned to you is calming. you can learn to be this sort of person for others as well

      2 replies 1 retweet 35 likes
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    5. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      10. and, skillfully helping others with their emotions is hard and most people don't know how to do it! by default people also attach fixed meanings to *others'* emotions - e.g. if my friend is sad i must be sad with them and try to help them or else i'm a bad friend

      2 replies 1 retweet 33 likes
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    6. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      11. you can learn to let go of your meanings about others' emotions as well, and just sit with their emotion and help them sit with it too. this may involve doing some work on your own about e.g. your insecurities around being a bad friend

      1 reply 3 retweets 39 likes
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    7. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      12. it's actually not helpful to hold onto things like "i have to be sad when my friend is sad", it leads to other people holding things like "i can't tell my friend i'm sad because i'll make them sad and that'll hurt them"

      3 replies 7 retweets 51 likes
      Show this thread
    8. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      13. what people want is *attunement*, which is hard to describe and hard to pin down and most people don't even have the word for it so they talk about other stuff that's nearby but not really it. attunement means you are *with them* in the emotion

      3 replies 6 retweets 54 likes
      Show this thread
    9. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 14 Dec 2019

      14. a nearby thing that some people do is just feeling the emotion because the other person is feeling it; this is more properly termed "not having emotional boundaries" and while it is kinda cool as a kinda psychic power it's also a pain in the ass if you don't know how to stop

      4 replies 5 retweets 56 likes
      Show this thread
    10. bosco‏ @selentelechia 14 Dec 2019
      Replying to @QiaochuYuan @Meaningness

      @eigenrobot oh no

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 14 Dec 2019
      Replying to @selentelechia @QiaochuYuan @Meaningness

      hard to say anything about thi's

      10:08 PM - 14 Dec 2019
      • 2 Likes
      • QC bosco
      0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes

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