Helping people is hard. Giving advice to people is rarely effective. Much advice boils down to: here's what I'd do if I were you. The trouble is that although you may see a way out of a given predicament as you imagine yourself facing it, you are not the one in that situation.
call it what you like you can't resolve it by saying "what if you didn't do that"
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I appreciate your Advice but I promise you it doesn't help.
End of conversation
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