Helping people is hard. Giving advice to people is rarely effective. Much advice boils down to: here's what I'd do if I were you. The trouble is that although you may see a way out of a given predicament as you imagine yourself facing it, you are not the one in that situation.
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Here, failure modes have more to do with seeing and understanding boundaries and basic social norms, and separating emotional needs from practical considerations. When a person can't intuit basic norms or sees them as fundamentally Evil when pointed out advice doesn't much help.
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