Helping people is hard. Giving advice to people is rarely effective. Much advice boils down to: here's what I'd do if I were you. The trouble is that although you may see a way out of a given predicament as you imagine yourself facing it, you are not the one in that situation.
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Replying to @eigenrobot
I love this thread! It really resonated with me. I approach these situations with caution after several attempts to help ended up making things worse.
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Replying to @flavagoodtime @eigenrobot
I would add that the US seems to be a culture that expects all problems to have a solution and inability to correct that problem represents a moral failure.
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Replying to @flavagoodtime @eigenrobot
There's an inability to accept some problems have no solution or the solution is unknown and attempts to solve the problem make things worse.
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Replying to @flavagoodtime @eigenrobot
I'm a big believer in helping when I can but it requires caution, patience, individual attention, and the self awareness to evaluate the results of your actions. It's not for everyone.
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Replying to @flavagoodtime
It's really just a Lot. I think I can/coule do it with my potential kids, or my wife (if it ever came to that), or my parents (sort of, kind of, and only as an adult); but maybe there's not the same kind of social space or . . . something with others.
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Replying to @eigenrobot
I think that's the limit of what most are capable of. You don't know anyone quite like your immediate family. Even extended family is often too far removed. Granted I don't actually know you but you seem thoughtful and good enough to be a net positive to those around you.
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Replying to @flavagoodtime @eigenrobot
I'm in the opposite situation in that I constantly wonder if I'm doing more harm than good to those around me. It is definitely a lot.
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And that's an awful way to feel too and I doubt anyone wants you to feel that way :( "I would love to be able to do something for this person" is very different than "I resent this person for Existing" I think
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Replying to @eigenrobot
Those are very different sentiments indeed. So I try to help those closest to me to the best of my abilities as well as anyone that requests assistance I can actually provide. And that's really all I think most of us can do.
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