Helping people is hard. Giving advice to people is rarely effective. Much advice boils down to: here's what I'd do if I were you. The trouble is that although you may see a way out of a given predicament as you imagine yourself facing it, you are not the one in that situation.
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This sort of experience makes me especially pessimistic about the possibility of government efforts to solve social problems. Treat symptoms? Sure. Getting food to people is easy and cheap. Housing and mental health care? Within limits. Day care for dependents? Schools, fine.
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But I don't see any of this resolving what in my local society are basically a set of deep-seated and apparently mostly-heritable problems. No government program is going to accomplish more for these specific relatives than palliation.
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That may be a noble cause, but I don't see welfare described as an ameliorant really ever. It's always a Solution. Outside of a few cases (where people would likely Succeed in any case) I just don't believe it is.
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So, each holiday, I go out to eat with my strugglers. I listen to their stories, and smile when they do well, or (more often) wince when they tell me where they've erred--often not realizing their mistakes. I try to make them feel loved and pick up the tab, and collapse at home.
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Well, I don't know your family, so I'm not sure exactly. What if you are?
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god that would be an awful trip
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Having no destination I am never lost Having no certainty I am never wrong
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What are some examples of these struggles? Relationship disasters, addiction, etc..?
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Probably the most problematic ones are inabilities to form healthy romantic relationships and inabilities to maintain employment for social reasons. Getting fired for going off on bosses, coworkers, or clients is perennial. :/
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