ive kinda started accepting that i will just be alone forever but i hate it and it makes me cry
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE
Hmmm, would have been a simpler solution at 18 or 22 for sure
or at least that's when I have better knowledge
What do you think is wrong, or what would you like to be different?1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
Replying to @eigenrobot
i want to be like all those normal people who dont have these problems but idk how to be normal i guess normal people arent afraid of causing a bunch of suffering whereas i suffer a bunch and dont want anyone to have to feel awful like me
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE @eigenrobot
also i am shorter than average and i obviously cant do anything about that but i went on tinder once and it was very discouraging because my height automatically disqualified me for the majority of people on there
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE
Yeah the height thing is real and sucks. :( For the other bit 1. Have you considered that there might not be anything wrong with you? Maybe just short a few skill ups rather than innate and inflexible deficiency 2. You've got a right to exist you know?
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Replying to @eigenrobot
1. there are definitely things wrong with me that ive been working on eg a bunch of trauma that i have to get over and related to that i never learned how to really bond with or trust someone or what being loved is supposed to feel like but this is very hard and takes forever
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE @eigenrobot
2. i dont really know what to do with this im already existing regardless of whether i have a right to or not and i cant really do anything about it ive proposed the solution of just killing myself and everyone was horrified because it would end my suffering but make theirs worse
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE
Trauma's miserable for sure. I've needed a while to adjust mine and it's still not completed really. But when you get to the point where you can talk about it, and also not let I define you, I think you'll be on a good path
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On the second point, ok, forget suicide and forget what other people want Can you imagine what a life you'd enjoy living would look like? If not try that first Else, the first step is picking out just one thing that would move you toward that life, and try to make it happen
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Replying to @eigenrobot
eh the life id really like is impossible because i have incurable health issues and chronic pain so really all i can do is try to minimize my desires and expectations i suppose i wish i could just ditch them entirely
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Replying to @HorseboyTFE
Oh gosh that's brutal. I'm sorry buddy. I wish I had more experience around this kind of situation because it seems like anything I say in response to this would probably being low-value and irritating -_-
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