ugh this hurts this is me almost word for word except i dont believe that i deserve things to just fall into my lap but im depressed at my inability to change and become not pitiful like that idk what to do :(
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On the second point, ok, forget suicide and forget what other people want Can you imagine what a life you'd enjoy living would look like? If not try that first Else, the first step is picking out just one thing that would move you toward that life, and try to make it happen
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eh the life id really like is impossible because i have incurable health issues and chronic pain so really all i can do is try to minimize my desires and expectations i suppose i wish i could just ditch them entirely
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or at least that's when I have better knowledge
What do you think is wrong, or what would you like to be different?