eigenrobots theory and practice of complimenting people!!!! a thread, inspired by a lovely metacompliment
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part one: how to give compliment's 1. notice something you like in someone else 2. tell them you like it
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this is perhaps harder than you might think. both steps require Art
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noticing something you like in someone else may be harder for some people than others. my suspicion is that complimenting may be difficult for misanthropists, for example, if they are not inclined to notice beauty in their fellow man; or for those who react with fear to social
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fortunately this is a skill that may be consciously trained for example make a list of ten people in your life go down that list and for each think of something about them that is laudatory it doesnt need to be a big thing--often subtleties are better than prominent traits
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eventually, you can learn to see Good in others reflexively beyond embiggening ones Charm, this is an important trait to develop for living a happy life (naturally it should be tempered with Prudence but the impulse ought to be there)
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suppose you have noticed something you like about someone. How do you tell them? "I like it that you X" is a good start! And it will quite generally be well-received. You don't need to go past this.
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being really masterful in delivery is harder. here is the pith of it. people live in their own stories. a deeply-felt compliment will be one that lets them tell a better story about themselves.
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to do this thoroughly--and I'm not sure it can be done entirely consciously--one must have some intuition about another's story; show their intuition; and guide the complimentee to the new story this is a necessarily intimate exercise
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