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eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      eigenrobot Retweeted

      thoughtful but cursed thread its nice that people are trying and I am glad people recognize that they are trying but theres no set of rules to follow rather most of flirting (and even socializing) is flitting between rulesets and violating them artfully https://t.co/POemOqVgbI 

      eigenrobot added,

      This Tweet is unavailable.
      16 replies 10 retweets 141 likes
      Show this thread
    2. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      "being a creep" seems roughly the same as "playing by the wrong set of rules" slash "breaking the set of rules I'm communicating tacitly that I want you to follow" "be Professional and act like you're talking to your manager" is *safe* but basically social bondage

      7 replies 1 retweet 86 likes
      Show this thread
    3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      I've been thinking about this a lot, trying to make a big formless thing legible no success yet but my hunch is that the only way to actually come off as not creepy if this is a problem is to throw yourself into lots of novel situations and often fuck them up until you git gud

      3 replies 1 retweet 62 likes
      Show this thread
    4. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      the contemporary problem I think is that people have to use ML terms switched to a high-recall shit-precision model in plain terms people are conflating "awkward" with "dangerous" because idk they're panicking about weirdos I guess both types break rules but only one is malign

      2 replies 1 retweet 43 likes
      Show this thread
    5. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      (I'm not actually sure actually dangerous people are likely to get caught by the current threat model like Weinstein and Clinton are clearly not socially awkward)

      3 replies 1 retweet 48 likes
      Show this thread
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019

      anyway it's especially shit because trial and error, simple experience, are necessary to develop adult social fluency and this rigid-but-still-tacit ruleset is likely to be ruinous for experimentation and development I'm sorry everyone we live in a society 😔

      7:44 PM - 15 Sep 2019
      • 4 Retweets
      • 76 Likes
      • bronze age anon Timber of Frame antimule Alpha Beta infinitesimal Scronkfinkle Laurent Fourier Last Of The Institutionalized Scapegoating Uncle Tim
      7 replies 4 retweets 76 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Matt Diamond‏ @mattdiamond 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          simple rule of thumb: if it seems like you’re making someone uncomfortable, stop doing whatever you’re doing that’s making them uncomfortable that’s basically the whole thing right there

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @mattdiamond

          many people (extremely not me but!) have a hard time picking up on discomfort in others sometimes discomfort is playfully feigned you can wait for someone to be explicit about their discomfort but at that point sorry you're already a creep

          1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
        4. Show replies
        1. New conversation
        2. The End Times‏ @TheAgeofShoddy 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          The three genres of advice to awkward men: 1) Be naturally good at this. Why aren’t you naturally good you idiot, you worthless waste? 2) Ugh, god, X yourself already. 3) Hi! Chipper advice here on how to X yourself in slow misery as the years crush every last tear out of you!

          1 reply 1 retweet 16 likes
        3. The End Times‏ @TheAgeofShoddy 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @TheAgeofShoddy @eigenrobot

          The ugly truth is that some significant portion of people are going to die alone and unloved, and “advice” to them is mostly about convincing the advice giver that this is a just and correct state of affairs. Not a comment on the thread you quoted, a general observation.

          0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Nora Denise‏ @LilZauberlehrln 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Creepy maps on norm deleterious, thinking of this problem in terms of rules you get too many parallel states with differential outcomes. Analogy to norm works because norms are responsive to millieu. Pariahs and Celebrity both break norms. Also manager norm is defeatist quietism

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 15 Sep 2019
          Replying to @LilZauberlehrln

          :_(

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Show replies
        1. New conversation
        2. David McDougall - Lisbon Nov 19-23‏ @dmcdougall 16 Sep 2019
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Reductive take: The actions for “charming” and “creepy” are surface-level indistinguishable; what’s different is that the former are *desired by the receiver* and the latter aren’t. Studying the actions misses the point.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. I somewhat disagree‏ @rugstump 16 Sep 2019
          Replying to @dmcdougall @eigenrobot

          Exactly! It's not a specific set of actions, it's the ability to interpret feedback and adjust accordingly. And in essence, that's having a relationship. Which is why it's less stupid to test than whether a guy can follow arbitrary courtship rules as cynics make it sound.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Baalren‏ @Baalren 16 Sep 2019
          Replying to @eigenrobot

          Baalren Retweeted eigenrobot

          Women have always wanted to throw creeps in jail out of pure sadistic spite. Now they can. Hooray.https://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1173426344207601664 …

          Baalren added,

          eigenrobot @eigenrobot
          the contemporary problem I think is that people have to use ML terms switched to a high-recall shit-precision model in plain terms people are conflating "awkward" with "dangerous" because idk they're panicking about weirdos I guess both types break rules but only one is malign
          Show this thread
          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Baalren‏ @Baalren 16 Sep 2019
          Replying to @Baalren @eigenrobot

          See also fundamental attribution error. Nobody thinks, "Oh, he's having an off day." They assume faux pas come from a fundamental, inherent property. Result: not safe for anyone to practice. Hope you're a natural!

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        4. Show replies

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