so tonight I found out I might be the uncle of an eighteen(?) year old whom I've never met and who has no idea about this hard to know what to make of this maybe I'm going to read that book about growing bonsai while I don't sleep
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if nobody knows then imo you should tell your brother, and he should tell his ex, and she should tell their kid, and then at some point all three of them should talk about it together. they probably won't/can't be family but the kid deserves to know their own history
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but also a split like that usually means one or both parents won't take responsibility for family ties, so it may just end up being a mess of conflict and drama ;) there is no easy answer to a dysfunction that has festered for 18 years
End of conversation
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