2/ this leads a massive gap between puberty (~ age 13 ?) and age-of-best-family-formation (~ age 27 ?), and 99% of people will not / can not navigate those 14 years well, so there is a massive ideal vs achievability gappic.twitter.com/ctX6PCR01h
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2/ this leads a massive gap between puberty (~ age 13 ?) and age-of-best-family-formation (~ age 27 ?), and 99% of people will not / can not navigate those 14 years well, so there is a massive ideal vs achievability gappic.twitter.com/ctX6PCR01h
3/ and in a rich society with contraceptives and cities full of people and dating apps, and 99% of people not being in the top 1% of conscientiousness, mass defections from the ideal are way-beyond-inevitable ...and there are network effects
4/ so basically a Moloch-worshipping dating hellscape where people are used and tossed aside, very few are happy, and also there's mass murder of unwanted children seems absolutely inevitable and I'm ready to log off and go despair in a dark cave now
Alternate theory: most teenagers & young adults should be getting into increasingly long-term relationships that eventually become sexual and eventually have marriage in mind.
But we shouldn't expect the first attempts at relationships to be successful. Instead we should expect most people to have had more than one sexual relationship before marriage.
Tradition MUST adapt to circumstances, or fail. In the case of sex, the circumstances have changed: we now have contraception, abortion, sterilisation, and paternity testing. Expectations of sexual behaviour appropriate to the old circumstances are not appropriate to the new.
the old ways had a lot of load bearing bits that were not connected to the obvious purposes tho
I feel like they were ultimately connected to issues of paternity and unwanted pregnancy?
those seem like things on the order of things you might worry about when buying a cheese
Really? Pregnancy and paternity seem to cut to the heart of everything, imo.
Hmm Yeah ok Actually paternity and pregnancy have been pretty thoroughly desacralized too Dang
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