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eigenrobot's profile
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
eigenrobot
@eigenrobot

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eigenrobot

@eigenrobot

robot. friend.

eigenrobot.substack.com
Joined July 2013

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    1. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      I want to preface this with the statement that he hasn't done anything to me. I'm not suffering abuse and I never have at his hands. This is about me and my happiness and my mental and emotional health. Things I have neglected for entirely too long, but that cannot continue.

      1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      I suffered a traumatic childhood. A statement which for years I dismissed as dramatic. As a result I never dealt with it. And I made a lot of choices in reaction to, rather than in spite of it. My marriage was one of those choices.

      1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      I convinced myself that I wasn't good enough. That I didn't deserve the things I wanted out of life. And through that I settled for good enough. Because meeting people, for me, is hard. Meeting a nice person who doesn't hurt me is harder. But I hurt myself.

      2 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      Through the years things started to build. I wasn't getting what I needed, only I didn't realize it. Y'all have seen me in my troughs. The were getting deeper and longer. I wasn't able to climb out like I used to be able to. Something was wrong and it wasn't getting better.

      1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      Then a couple of months ago, something changed. I made a friend who opened me up for the first time in my life. I started to speak to the Lord. I started to realize that I do feel, and that those feelings are valid. And that they deserve acknowledgement and pursuit.

      1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      I began to realize that I couldn't stay in this stuck place anymore. I was suffocating. And if something didn't change I would die there. So I sat down and had the hardest, most honest conversation I've ever had in my life with the person I've lived with for almost a decade.

      1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      It was excruciating. I don't ever relish hurting a person. But what had been put on my heart was that I matter, too. And I can't continue to stay in a place where I'm being gutted day in and day out. I had to look out for me, for once. Do what was right for me.

      1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
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    8. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      So I left. And I'm so incredibly lucky in that I have the two most supportive, amazing people in my grandparents. They are the light of my life. And I'm seeing a therapist and I'm working on Becky. For the first time in 29 years, she's coming first.

      2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      And I don't know exactly what happens next. But for the moment I am present-focused. I am going to make things right for me right now and all that other shit is going to have to come second.

      2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Becky With Alright Hair I Guess‏ @_basicbecky 17 Nov 2018

      But I do want everyone to know that I'm ok. I did leave like half my wardrobe behind, and that's been hard. I also left my dog, and that's been harder. But I'm ok. I'm going to be great.

      8 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
      Show this thread
      eigenrobot‏ @eigenrobot 5 Mar 2019
      Replying to @_basicbecky

      Best wishes, friend. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so much. And um #itgetsbetter

      12:13 PM - 5 Mar 2019
      0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes

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