This is intense motivated reasoning in action. Boys are so obsessed with the procurement of sex– they are so afraid of being virgins– that they will do anything to get it. This tunnel-vision (sorry
) often completely blinds them to the fact that girls&women are human beings!!!
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This is dramatically worsened by the fact that boys have so little exposure to girl's & women's stories, POVs, concerns. The princess exists as reward for the hero, her main goal&motivation in life is to be fucked by the hero. Harrassment is charming! Boys really believe that.
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However – even when we help boys appreciate girls' POVs, fears & concerns (and we are terribly overdue with this), the problem will not be solved. B/c of the intense motivated reasoning where sex is the holy grail that bestows manliness. Like Aziz, they will forget their feminism
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I think we need to find ways to celebrate masculinity that are unrelated to sex. There need to be ways for boys to become men without sexual conquest. Where I think we're getting this wrong: when we shame boys for trying to become men. This leads to things like TRP and worse
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Boys will always want to become men. So we can't just block existing paths, we have to design healthier ones. I think the hashtag
#MasculinitySoFragile is actually quite revealing. What makes something fragile, brittle rather than resilient, dynamic?
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For material substances, its rigidity. A similar case could be made for our outdated models of masculinity, which seem to be weakly, loosely cobbled together from movies, TV shows, sports etc rather than rigorously evaluated. We need people to think, argue, debate abt masculinity
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Boys will always desire status, power, and yes, sex. They will consistently, predictably make LIFE-THREATENING decisions in pursuit of this. Men (and women) looking to rehabilitate masculinity will have to acknowledge this rather than handwave it away.
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Replying to @yungmetronome
yeah this is always a kind of sore point for people – a coordinated sexual rejection of supposedly undesirable men would change things *fast*
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Replying to @eigenrobot @yungmetronome
same idk if I have *excelled*, but close-enough / adjacent-enough
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visa is doing final edits ✍🏾 📖 Retweeted visa is doing final edits ✍🏾 📖
visa is doing final edits ✍🏾 📖 added,
visa is doing final edits ✍🏾 📖 @visakanvGuy: "I feel like I have to be more manly around (my girlfriend)." Author: "Sounds like fragile masculinity to us." TRP is right when they say that men have to be automatically good at being men. Express uncertainty about *that* and you're a lesser man https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a13026060/bromance-male-friendship/ …Show this thread0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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