Skip to content
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
eigenrobot's profile
masquerobot
masquerobot
masquerobot
@eigenrobot

Tweets

masquerobot

@eigenrobot

Robot. Friend.

Joined July 2013

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    1. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

      1. Going to get all of my college stories out now so there are no surprises when I am nominated for high office

      1 reply 1 retweet 21 likes
      Show this thread
    2. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

      2. I had my first drink at 19. I had spent most of Freshman year saying drinking was Bad. My best friend took me to a basement kegger. I stood awkwardly with a Solo cup til she said "drink a fucking beer" and dragged me to the keg. I had three fucking beers and four jello shots

      1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      Show this thread
    3. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

      3. I joined the Century Club after my OChem final summer after. 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes. A nice girl helped me throw up into a Hefty bag and promised that she wouldn't let me die. (vomitting) "You won't even sleep with me. How can I trust you to not let me die"

      1 reply 1 retweet 19 likes
      Show this thread
    4. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

      4. An ex and her roommate drank most of a bottle of 100 Blackberries and called me and a friend over for sex. He wasn't down so I went over for a threesome Roommate barely got her top off when they both got explosively sick and I just spent the night making them drink water

      2 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      Show this thread
      masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

      5. At one point two women made out in my bathroom for some reason, one of them was into it My roommate and I taped it in portrait I decided it needed a soundtrack so I whistled a very good rendition of Frog's Theme from Chrono Trigger

      6:29 PM - 23 Sep 2018
      • 1 Retweet
      • 12 Likes
      • trailer trash zach braff Drew, Corpse Unstitcher Chris Allen ΧΡ (👻, SC, LP & 🏴) Non-Toxic Avenger🗽🍕 ゴルルル… Matt Parsons 🏳️‍🌈 ohdearsay Bücketheâd Vineland (#Based, #Redpilled)
      1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

          6. A lady got bored with me and dropped me so I texted her best friend and asked if she wanted to hang out and drink whiskey and have a book club about _Lost Girls_ . . . this actually worked for some reason

          2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
          Show this thread
        3. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

          7. A scene girl seduced me to snort Adderall from a toilet tank at You Otter Stop In before taking me home drunk and strung out A farce followed wherein I buzzed in police at 2am; then the DV suspect they were after; I chased that guy out while frothing, in a bathrobe

          1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
          Show this thread
        4. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

          8. Once violated the fire code and a line item in my lease by buying a broken motorcycle in Iowa and trying to repair it in my 4th story apartment Didn't think to drain the fuel tank and the unit smelled like alkanes for months Roommate has not yet forgiven me

          4 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
          Show this thread
        5. masquerobot‏ @eigenrobot Sep 23

          masquerobot Retweeted masquerobot

          9. This is possibly the most accurately-characteristic story about my college life however Thank you and please don't vote for anyone this November God Bless Americahttps://twitter.com/eigenrobot/status/1009842647039541248 …

          masquerobot added,

          masquerobot @eigenrobot
          This had never happened to me before, and fellas I was Shook. I took her leave at the Greyhound station and rode in complete silence back to Minneapolis. The next morning I skipped class and drew my curtains and slumped in my chair and read papers on erectile dysfunction.
          Show this thread
          2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
          Show this thread
        6. End of conversation

      Loading seems to be taking a while.

      Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

        Promoted Tweet

        false

        • © 2018 Twitter
        • About
        • Help Center
        • Terms
        • Privacy policy
        • Cookies
        • Ads info