hell, you gotta lube it up somehow! this isn't even getting into the apparent latent homoeroticism of alpinism, where climbers describe each other as "hard men" and the harder you are, the better just hard dudes climbing mountains with your bros, nah mean?
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I was fine til we got to the country doctor's office. I'd never gotten stitches before, and seeing the kit made me nervous. When I get nervous I talk. A lot. The nurses bore it while they prepped me, but the MD lasted 30s before he set down his sutures and looked me in the eyes
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"Son, if you don't stop talking, I swear I will put these sutures in your penis."
End of conversation
New conversation -
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waiting
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