They aren't; a refusal to identify as a competitor (and instead to identify with the mother/"women") is equivalent to a "signaling drive", but it also suggests a psychosexual causal mechanism in addition to describing the behavior. I figure Freud wouldn't invent a new word.
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society mostly makes sense (I think?) as a novel framework where lots of people with bundles of traits, some of which are fixed and some of which are quite flexible, struggle with the fixed ones where they don't fit (or prosper when they fit v well)
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but these days were all in thrall to the superorganisms growing all around us humans havent been free for a long-ass time and were gonna be less so in the future is my guess some nights even sober I can nearly see the nameless guiding egregores stretching out to the stars
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you really don't wanna go down the r-strategist rabbit hole though
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with a few freak exceptions I bet r-strategists are more successful in monogamisty relationships thats what im betting on anyway
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seems like it'd be the opposite, tho
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fucking is a lot a lot a lot easier in live-in relationships most Roues dont actually lock down much uterine time is my guess, not enough to make up for that you need a really devoted Ghengis Khan or a full haram to make up for 25 years of regular fucking eg check the Pilgrims
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ok I'll be more explicit (wishing I could find an article cite but I've stoned that data out of my head apparently) most species are only r or K strategists. some species, however, have _both_ variants in the same population, in different proportions. Humans are like this.
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in species with external fertilization (a lot of fish) the K strategist males are Chad-like. large and strong and attractive to females. the r strategist males are Virgin-like. small and shy and mostly unattractive to females. how do they reproduce?
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by cheating, that's how. they wait for a K-male to pair with a female and they rush in and skeet at just the right opportune moment to get some of their juice mixed in with the Chad juice and some fraction of the eggs are gonna be little baby Virgins.
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yeah I'm familiar with the literature :) one issue >in species with external fertilization
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i mean, it sounds like he even knows what he should be doing, that once you're not just flailingly incompetent and insecure you use that security as a basis to open up a little and allow vulnerability so you can not just be an empty suit of armor, he's just not *doing* it
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yeah my guess is . . . he cant :/
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