my wife hunts and is fine with animal slaughter but she's probably pretty close to temple grandin tempermentally i personally cannot do these things i worked in a laboratory where we did unspeakable things to animals and would leave work and drink to incoherence
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The animals had to be alive for this, but they were deeply deeply and irreversibly anaesthetized, so while it was horrible to watch they didn't feel it. The in vivo monitoring was much worse I think.
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The protocol here involved monitoring (i) certain discrete regions of the bird's brain, in real time, using implanted wires; and (ii) tracking their (sometimes silent) production of song by measuring air pressure in their lungs.
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in order to do (i), we performed surgery that involved slicing off the top of the animal's skull; implanting a microelectronic array that included a protruding chip you could plug into a monitor wire; then resealing the brain with a cement.
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for (ii), we created a sort of miniature backpack for the bird. a flexible plastic tube led from the backpack to the bird's side, where there was an incision that led to the lung. The tube was stitched in place . . . badly.
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The birds wore the backpacks/tubes full time and always had the chip sticking out of their replacement skull. When we monitored their behavior, they were placed in special boxes where a wire ensemble on a swivel was plugged into their chip. They spent long stretches like this.
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So this is already pretty grotesque on paper. We were really diligent about pain--you know, birds in pain don't sing, and give bad data in any case. But things frequently went badly.
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Basically, the apparatus was not well designed. Sometimes the skull cap just fell off, leaving a bird hopping around unattended with an exposed brain. Sometimes the pneumatic tube would come out, leaving an unattended bird with a sucking chest wound.
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In those cases--I don't remember, I think we would usually just come back to find a dead bird. A tube once came out when I was in the lab. I was not qualified or able to put it back in, and after some panicking recalled the protocol was to kill the bird.
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So, for that, procedure was (i) to knock out the bird with gasseous anaesthetic, really hardcore knock out; and then (ii) decapitate it in the sink with a medical scissors. Which I did. Home, drink.
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Another time, for some reason, we had to put a bird down in the colony (which was in another building). This was probably the worst killing. They didn't have anesthetic available at the colony, and there were no tools for a quick death available.
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What they *did* have was a machine that generates carbon dioxide in a sealed chamber. The thing about carbon dioxide is that (contra carbon monoxide) is that it doesn't put you to sleep; it just suffocates you. There are horrible stories of slave indigenous miners . . .
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in the Andes falling into low spots in silver and mercury mines (full of CO2, because no air circulation, and CO2 is dense) and everyone standing at the side watching them suffocate. And this was the initial approach to killing Jews et al in Poland, but the executioners . . .
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all just quit on the spot after listening to people dying in the back of cars they were driving around. Anyway, it was like that. Watching this little bird desperately trying to breathe and thrashing around for 45s while it suffocated in a plastic box.
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Home. Drink.
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The piece de resistance was that the research was basically garbage. I mean--the research was fine, we learned some things about auditory learning in songbirds. But the research--I read the fucking grants--was funded on the grounds that songbird vocal learning was a model . . .
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for human auditory learning. SURPRISE. It is not a good model for humans. Songbirds have two discrete brain regions that are core for vocal learning. Neither are present in human brains.
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Anyway, that's the story of how I tortured and killed birds and burned god knows how much taxpayer money for a bit of knowledge with no appreciable gain in health or utility for humans. Sigh. Home. Drink. /fin
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