This is it! The must be why I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin, I'm literally not identifying with myself! I wonder if this is a kind of madness? To do this? Oh God I hope I'm not insane. I shall make a conscious effort to cognitively remedy this. "*I* should do this or that"
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Years later: Holy shit I've got it. The core of my mental problems the reason I'm so fucked up all the time is because I address myself in first person, as "I", in my thoughts, making me
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Turns out I couldn't blame myself for everything/take credit for everything and that I was not a monolith. and they lived happily ever after
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End of conversation
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"to study the self is to forget the self"
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