I've had some TERFs in my mentions, so I'm going to write a small thread on how embarrassment and self-hatred kept me from transitioning.
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The most freeing moment of my life was when I finally had the thought that no one was stopping me from transitioning but me.
I literally stopped dead on the street with the thought "I could just say I was trans and transition. No one could stop me or say I wasn't."
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It was many months after that that I decided to go forward, but giving myself permission to just be trans if I was trans was a breakthrough.
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I think it's one that some people don't or can't have. For me, I'm immensely glad my fear of being laughed at wasn't so strong, in the end.
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