Evan Urquhart

The pressure are so awful for so many queer people. My mom faught hard against gender stereotypes. I'm so grateful for how effective she was

My mom willed me to be hyper girly. I was always told how girly I was, even when obvious reality was opposite. She does it to my neices now.

It's very insidious. She doesn't say how they should behave, just repeats over and over how much they like pink, how feminine they are, etc.

My niece likes pink, don't get me wrong. Also loves looking in the dirt for bugs and grasshoppers! She's a mix, like most kids.

What about sibs? I'm sandwiched between two brothers & wore lots of unisex clothing. Anything expensive, like winter coats, had to be navy.

My sister and I are two years apart- she's very traditionally feminine so wasn't harmed as much by the expectation that she be so.

She's straight, I guess? I know so many queer femmes who had to reclaim femininity, to reject their socialization & own it for themselves.

Oh yes! (I have even written something on this: http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2015/03/12/femme_lesbians_shouldn_t_be_defined_by_their_butches.html …)