Evan Urquhart

Yes, I know it's a piece from 2016 that randomly burst onto @NYMag's top 10, but I am weirded out by too many things.

I wish I hadn't had my ears pieced at 11. I don't wear earings, haven't since high school, but the holes are a tell for having been female.

11 is hard. I imagine you were coping w. all the glorious middle school peer pressure PLUS additional pressure to perform femininity.

Yeah- I tried very hard to conform to feminine expectations in pre/early teens and then again in mid twenties.

The pressure are so awful for so many queer people. My mom faught hard against gender stereotypes. I'm so grateful for how effective she was

My mom willed me to be hyper girly. I was always told how girly I was, even when obvious reality was opposite. She does it to my neices now.

It's very insidious. She doesn't say how they should behave, just repeats over and over how much they like pink, how feminine they are, etc.

My niece likes pink, don't get me wrong. Also loves looking in the dirt for bugs and grasshoppers! She's a mix, like most kids.