Evan Urquhart

None of these narratives are "wrong" in the sense that every one resonates with some people. None of them are "right" in the sense that they don't resonate with everyone. 6/

As a stigmatized minority, we can't expect any of these to be invincible. Remember, transphobes hate us for who we are, not for how we talk about it. (It doesn't mean the process of addressing probs in old language is bad, just don't expect it to have an endpoint.) 7/

So, when I say that the narrative that resonates most with my experience is that of having a medical condition, I'm not saying it's a narrative without problems, I'm not saying I'm some 'true trans', and I'm not attempting to diminish the experiences of others. 8/

So, why does this idea of a medical condition feel so apt? Well, it's not bc I'm an uber-binary trans man. If anything, it's somewhat the opposite. I don't really know what people mean by having an internal sense of gender identity. 9/

When I think about "feeling like a woman" the only thing I can really bring to mind is "the sensation of having breasts and finding it unbearable". When I think about "feeling like a man" that's just big question mark. Whatever these feelings are, I don't think I have them. 10/

And, on the other hand, I had this very intense, very binary physical discomfort with my pre-transition body, which was eventually followed by a feeling of profound relief on starting testosterone therapy. 11/

Some thought experiments, to illustrate: If I hadn't had access to medical transition? I wouldn't have changed my name or pronouns. If I were on a deserted island? My desire for medical transition would be unaffected. 12/

And so, being as I don't really have anything else to root it in, I root my "trans identity" in the medical procedures I undertook to relieve my gender dysphoric symptom (as well as the social meaning those medical procedures have in my culture). 13/