Evan Urquhart

And that kinda fucks with the immutability argument, doesn't it. I have a short story, that I've told on here before. It's about Sandy Stier, one of the plaintiffs in the Prop 8 case in California that was going to re-ban marriage equality.

The attorneys on our side, the equality side, had to argue that laws that discriminated based on sexual orientation deserved a CLOSE LOOK by the judges. And that meant they had to argue that sexual orientation was a "protected class," a "discrete and insular minority."

Little problem. Sandy Stier had been previously married to a man. And if Sandy could get married to a man, then how was this law discriminatory? She can get MARRIED, just not to another woman! She's making a CHOICE. CHOICES aren't protected in US law.

Well, the lawyers had to show that Sandy didn't have a choice. That her queerness was immutable. I don't have the transcripts in front of me, so I'll summarize.

David Boies: Sandy, you were married to a man. Sandy Stier: Yes David Boies: Did you love him? Sandy Steir: I didn't love anyone until I met Kris Perry. David Boies: INTERESTING!!!!!! **turns meaningfully to the judge** Innnnnnteresting. **strokes chin** interesting.

Now let me be clear, I am NOT saying that Sandy Stier DID love her husband. Or that she's bi or anything. I don't know Sandy. What I AM saying is that the lawyers in Prop 8 HAD TO show that Sandy was never ever ever ever straight and didn't love a SINGLE PERSON before Kris.

And that's just NOT TRUE for many of us in the queer community. Some of us fell in love with someone of a similar gender after YEARS of love with someone of a different gender Some of us realized our own gender identity after DECADES of life in another gender identity.

AND Some of us went back to loving people of a different gender after some time with a partner of a similar gender. Are we traitors? And some of us moved on in our gender transition. Moved on towards a gender more aligned with our gender assigned at birth. Are we traitors?