Evan Urquhart

The first is that masculinity is often framed as a rejection of or absence of femininity, which leads to absurd outcomes like men abandoning a thing they like if they hear women also like it.

And, the second is that the exclusivity of masculinity to maleness means that any positive traits that are put forward as "masculine" cannot help but imply that women are incapable of embodying them.

For example, if you say athletic competition is a hallmark of masculine friendship, it's impossible to avoid the implication that you're saying women aren't naturally drawn to it and/or there's something wrong with women who are.

So, these problems suggest a way forwards, in the form of two hallmarks of a positive masculinity: 1. A positive masculinity will reject superiority. It will oppose any suggestion that feminine traits are to be rejected or looked down on, in oneself or others.

2. A positive masculinity will be inclusive. It will embrace and celebrate masculine women, masculine trans woman, and masculine nonbinary people.

A positive masculinity allows space for people who lean feminine to have masculine sides/interests, just as it allows space for people who lean masculine to have feminine sides/interests.

A positive masculinity can celebrate itself without shame, because it doesn't fear, reject, or disparage either women or femininity.

A positive masculinity is open and welcoming. It communicates that everyone is welcome to join the fun who wants to. This is the masculinity of a dad who shows love for his kids by wrestling them, or by teasing them.