You look at how prominent detransitioners are talked about, like Keira Bell, and it's dripping with an attitude of "this poor young girl was made into an uggo monster." The facial hair, the body hair, the deep voice- what straight man would ever want to have sex with us?
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This is woven into counseling around testosterone, and gatekeeping trans male transition. "Effects are permanent. You can never go back." But, you CAN go back to thinking of yourself as a woman. You CAN go back to presenting femme. You can never go back... to being fuckable.
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If being fuckable by straight cis men (and transphobic lesbians) is synonymous with being a woman, then transition becomes this one way door we can walk through... but never fully return from.
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This attitude is very rarely challenged. The people who challenge it most often are radical feminists (which makes things A LITTLE AWKWARD), and trans women (also awkward, though less so, and for very different reasons).
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Despite the awkwardness, though, I think trans men can look to radical feminist traditions and to trans women. For instance, I've really drawn strength from comedian
@rileyjsilverman (not, let me be clear, an ugly woman) and her embrace of the voice nature gave her.2 replies 1 retweet 91 likesShow this thread -
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Replying to @rileyjsilverman
So sorry, in the future I will be sure to respect your self-identification!
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Replying to @e_urq
I had a real personal breakthrough last fall where I realized how much of my own self sense of attractiveness and thus, unfortunately, self worth, was tied into the male gaze and hetero cis men’s cultural standards even being a lesbian myself. Still unpacking that.
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Fucking same as both a former lesbian and an actual man, now. I still feel shame about my big hairy ass that's more about how a woman's body should look than genuine dysphoria.
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