Evan Urquhart

We need to make some changes. We need to think about the needs of younger transmascs coming up, and let go of our side of the rope that's pulling them apart in this tug of war.

The lesbian side of the tug of war we all know. It's a small but very loud group of older dykes who've been complaining that transition is depleting the number of lesbians, butches are disappearing, girls are being transed, yadda yadda yadda.

TERFs are gonna TERF. We can't stop them from putting this guilt on young AFABs where they're accused of abandoning womanhood and lesbianism. We can say it's fucked up. We can say the last thing young queer people need is even more bullshit guilt. But we can't stop them.

But we CAN look to the transmasc side of things. Something I became aware of early in transition were negative comments about lesbians. Trans men saying "I don't pass I look like a lesbian," But in a very negative way, implying there's something wrong w how lesbians look.

And, we've got to come down harder on that shit. Normalize saying "I don't pass, I look like a woman in men's clothes". Leave lesbians and their style the fuck outta things.

Beyond that, we have the power to really make it clear to young queers exploring their gender that lesbians are loved and respected. That BUTCH WOMEN are loved and respected.

We should do this anyway bc lesbians are rad as hell and many of our trans sisters are lesbos... but ALSO because we've got the compassion to know how confused and pulled in all directions trans youth are.

The TERFs are pulling, pulling, pulling at them to be lesbians. But we, as trans men, can drop our side of the rope. We can make it crystal clear that we'll accept you and celebrate you, whoever you are.