Evan Urquhart

The general topic I'm most interested in writing about is trans men's experience, particularly when it differs from trans women's, and the specific area this thread will dig into is how coercive femininity is used to suppress trans men's aggressive instincts.

A trans narrative we're all familiar with is that trans women who display femininity in youth are often punished for it with aggression. Often this means physical abuse. The last thing I want is to downplay/draw equivalencies btw abuse and other harmful experiences in childhood.

So, when I say that young trans men's aggression is often suppressed using femininity, I mean to suggest that there's a mirrored-ness to the pattern, not that physical abuse of trans girls is the same in terms of seriousness.

Now, I'm defining "aggression" relatively broadly, here. It very much includes physicality like pushing, hitting, and rough-housing in youth, but also things like loudness, competitiveness, and bossiness/assertiveness. What happens to trans boys who express aggression?

Although trans boys may also experience child abuse, most often the response isn't to hit a trans boy for hitting.

What I've observed, in my own life and in observing others, is an exaggerated concern. "Ohhhh NO. We don't hit our friends. We LOVE our friends. We hug our friends. Go hug your friend. Go show your friend what a nice girl you are who never hits."