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I was never a tomboy. I was not a particularly masc little guy. But my mom told me how feminine I was *constantly* and never did the same with my sister. It a weird experience, constantly being told which toys I liked, which clothes I liked, and how girly everything I liked was.
It was basically classic gaslighting- but I know my mom believed. I can now understand that she was anxiously reassuring herself that I hadn't been masculinized by that drug... but as a child and adolescent the effect was disorienting.
Mom never once told me I wasn't allowed to have boy stuff, but she did tell me repeatedly that I didn't like that stuff and had never liked that stuff. Contradicting her felt impossible, even though I sort of knew something was off.
My upbringing had none of this anxiety, but I think that the expectations that I be a girl (even tho what that meant was broad), still impacted me like gaslighting
Yeah, I think I got an extreme version of a common dynamic which usually plays out more subtly.
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