Evan Urquhart

I've been observing my youngest niece, and it's really reinforcing my belief that early childhood sex differences are a crock (or, perhaps, challenging my remaining belief that sex differences are real).https://twitter.com/Chican3ry/status/1363267213457838080 …

Let me back up and say my mother strongly believed in innate sex differences. I was told, many times, about how naturally feminine I was as a child. How I preferred playing with dolls. How the trucks they bought me (as good 70s liberals) went unplayed with and ignored.

And, I've long known it was a crock. I *remember* longing for a kick ass hot wheels ramp and the cars that took body damage when you crashed them into shit. I didn't ask bc I felt like I wasn't supposed to. My mom simply wasn't as in touch with my desires as she thinks.

But even so I've internalized this idea of "boys are just so wild you can't control them crazy energy nothing like girls" idea. Which brings me to my youngest niece, who is four. This child is gender conforming. She wears pink dresses with leggings every day.

Today I was left home with her for a few hours, and we played with her two pink unicorn stuffies. Her brand new birthday present "babies" that she loves. The game we played? Why, it was "Let's FIGHT! Let's punch the babies! Punch! Punch! Punch!" We punched them good.

A normal kid being active, doing kid stuff, exploring the world. Sometimes we pet the unicorns softly, sometimes we talk about how younger sister unicorn is jealous of older sister unicorn & jealous is a hard emotion to feel, sometimes we punch the babies as hard as we can.

In the framework I was taught this is "boy" behavior that girls NEVER do. You have a boy, he's always punching unicorns. You have a girl, she's giving unicorns a bottle and tucking them into bed.

But it's all a crock. Adults see what they expect to see, and meanwhile kids' behavior is profoundly altered by how shocked or not shocked the adults in their lives are.