Evan Urquhart

I feel strongly that men shouldn't have to "embrace the feminine" to be good guys. Not reflexively push away, mock, or devalue the feminine? Yes. Embrace if it feels weird or wrong or embarrassing for them? No.

Men should: Challenge any impulse that leads them to mock femininity, replicating the toxic behaviors everyone from brothers and uncles to playground bullies perpetrated on them.

Men shouldn't: Feel ashamed of their sexuality/kinks/sex drive as if their thoughts alone have the power to oppress someone else.

Men should: Engage in healthy, fair competition as a mode of building and maintaining friendships, often as an alternative to long talks about feelings.

Men shouldn't: Treat women as unworthy of competing with. Feel ashamed or emasculated when they fail in competition with a woman or more feminine-coded person.

Men shouldn't: Be surprised if some tasks come less easily to them than they do to women, such as nurturing young children. Men should: Value, and work hard to become competent at, those tasks.

Men shouldn't: Engage in over-dramatic self-shaming monologues about how they, like all men, are trash and women have it soooo unimaginably hard and, and, and... Men should: Speak up to confront sexism. Support women's political and social equality. Vote with this in mind.

Men should generally worry less about being perceived as sexist, and more about supporting efforts to break down and ultimately bring an end to sexism.