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I think about my masculinity like I do about my favorite color, yellow. I dunno if I was born predisposed towards yellow or subtle social forces steered me towards yellow, but I'm sure I like yellow. I don't, however, think there's anything wrong with liking red, blue, or pink.
I don't see any point in pretending to like pink (or pretending to like blue), but I do try to be vocal in my support of people who like pink, because they seem to get a lot more shit.
It is harder to have this attitude of "I like what I like but it's not better than what someone else likes" about masculinity, bc of all the cultural shit I've been talking about. But, it's necessary to try, bc not being masculine, or not being a man, would be untrue to myself.
I think that this can be the most difficult for those who, whether cis or trans, are men, and are more masculine than not, but aren't particularly masculine for a man.
I lack a penis. I am 5'2". I am not good at and do not particularly like sports. The urge to overcompensate is strong. I feel it. You may too. But that's the trap- that's where you have to do the work of recognizing, and fighting, this cultural shit.
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