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The transphobic detrans community is has a sort of cultural attitude that they weren't responsible for their own decisions. Bad results of their choices are the fault of doctors, of trans people, of the patriarchy, really anyone but them.
And, just because of my personal life history and how it's impacted my personality, I have no patience with that. This doesn't mean I can't be fair to their critiques. It's just not going to come wrapped in a "there there poor thing" kind of package.
This is how I show respect. If you've been a victim of trauma (like I have), if you've made some bad decisions in your life (like I have), I am going to pay you the respect of acting like you're an intact adult who can survive being disagreed with.
I hate being coddled or having people walk on eggshells around me, and I treat others how I prefer to be treated myself.
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