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One reason I think the detrans community overreacted so much to the idea that I was writing about detransition- and why the actual piece earned basically no outrage at all- is that I am constitutionally resistant to pandering to anyone who bases their identity around victimhood.
I'm not someone without empathy, and certainly not someone incapable of nuance. I think my ultimate piece speaks to that. But as an adult who has been a victim of trauma I basically hold people responsible for their actions and views regardless of how sad their lives have been.
The transphobic detrans community is has a sort of cultural attitude that they weren't responsible for their own decisions. Bad results of their choices are the fault of doctors, of trans people, of the patriarchy, really anyone but them.
And, just because of my personal life history and how it's impacted my personality, I have no patience with that. This doesn't mean I can't be fair to their critiques. It's just not going to come wrapped in a "there there poor thing" kind of package.
This is how I show respect. If you've been a victim of trauma (like I have), if you've made some bad decisions in your life (like I have), I am going to pay you the respect of acting like you're an intact adult who can survive being disagreed with.
I hate being coddled or having people walk on eggshells around me, and I treat others how I prefer to be treated myself.
i've noted that about gc/truscum too womanhood/transness is defined by suffering, anyone who hasn't suffered enough isn't allowed in the tree house, and anyone who thinks differently is failing to treat their suffering with due seriousness (an intolerable insult!)
Oh yeah, I can see the parallels big time.
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