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Can confirm that type of thinking was very common in my old detrans community. Transition is framed as working towards an impossible goal and people are told they're women because they were born and socialized female, regardless of how they feel about themselves genderwise.
The socialization thing has always skeeved me out. I believe that how we're socialized can have powerful effects but they turn it into a dark stain that can never be washed away, which is really extreme and I think leads pretty inevitably to hating oneself.
Yeah, understanding how one has been influenced by gender socialization can be helpful but building an identity out of it can turn toxic and lead to people getting stuck in their trauma. Being raised female certainly shaped me but I don't see it as defining me anymore.
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