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This position of being in on the joke, and also the butt of the joke, of giving up your chance at being seen as cool to reach out to people, instead of closing yourself off, has a real resonance to me. And it has a resonance to AFAB masculinity, across the trans/cis divide.
Lesbians are not, traditionally, cool. When I think about a lesbian aesthetic I think practical, heartfelt, maybe coming off as a bit of a joke at times, but having the inner strength not to give up on the heartfelt stuff over it.
Trans men have that as well. Being against toxic masculinity and forging a path away from it, despite being quite literally dickless. Being willing to be laughed off the planet for trying to tell cis-men how to Man Better: That's a transmasculine approach to life.
In my incarnation as a butch lesbian, I wrote about this once before, for the Toast: https://the-toast.net/2014/11/20/lets-make-meat-loaf-lesbian-icon/ … So, consider this thread a post transition update, to one of the pieces I most enjoyed writing, way back when.
That's interesting because that sounds a lot like me but I thought I'd it as a trans guy thing really!
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