You're talking about transgender rights? A topic I have discussed fruitfully countless times, and often even convinced people on the other side to change some of their thinking around, but which apparently is impossible to have a civil conversation about.
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I don't agree 100% but it does seem like a pretty small corner of the issue and maybe not worth disputing too strongly. It also sounds like you think passing is pretty important, maybe more important than genitals, which makes my standard thought experiment less relevant.
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My standard thought experiment (to lay cards on the table), being whether trans men should be allowed total access to women only spaces, regardless of how uncomfortable they make women, and how to stop cis men from pretending to be trans men.
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Yes, that. There's a difference between quietly nipping in for a whizz and barging in with an unwarranted sense of entitlement. Some of the worst ones go in and take photos of themselves to show off. This is a thing. It's worse in confined spaces such as prisons or shelters.
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