If I'd had a bio kid they could have developed mental illness. They could have developmental delays. They could experience traumas I couldn't protect them from. They might experiment with or abuse drugs or alcohol.
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One of the things my co-parents and I decided early on was that we would never put the blame for any of our kids problems on their past or their bio families in a way that absolved us of responsibility.https://twitter.com/espiers/status/1288958476937580552 …
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There's no issue a foster or adoptive kid could have that doesn't happen all the time to people with bio children. So we just decided- it's as much our responsibility as it would be with a bio kid. No passing the buck. No washing our hands. It's a philosophy that serves us well.
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It's very hard to have a child who is going through a difficult time. God knows it was for my parents (who didn't exactly win the child lottery with me). Foster and adoptive parents have a tendency to give themselves an out when times get really hard, and we reject that.
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