I think most parents have an understanding of their kid's needs and can judge their discomfort. I'm sure they know what their kid is comfortable with
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I'm a foster parent and a lot of what FPs do is work with birth parents, esp young moms, to help their parenting skills. We're taught it starts with connection- I'd really encourage you/your family to try to build a strong connection with mom where she doesn't feel judged.
You can use this to gently model better parenting and to be safe people she can come to for advice. It's always a hard balance to show concern about the kids without making mom freeze up or pull away.
