Great thread, however there’s a small additional point to add.https://twitter.com/BrynnTannehill/status/1199682110350606336 …
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When I interviewed stealth trans men in the Southern US about dating, they told me about an agonizing choice. On the one hand, they knew they needed to disclose that they were trans to prospective partners, eventually. On the other hand, they were deathly afraid of gossip.
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Their being trans was an extremely juicy bit of gossip. Women they dated were highly likely to want to share it around, and if it reached the wrong ears it meant unemployment, ostracism, perhaps even violence.
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They’d play a waiting game, trying to find out if a date was ok with dating a trans person w/o asking them, not bc to avoid rejection but bc the risks were so much worse than rejection- they feared the gossip mill would destroy their lives.
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Cis people think it’s all about them, their right to know, their time being potentially wasted getting to know someone they won’t ultimately stay with. But it’s not all about them.
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End of conversation
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