Evan Urquhart

Typically in their late teens, kids and their families decide if they want to pursue any more serious medical treatments, like hormones and surgery. Again, families typically wait as long as they can for this, so everyone is comfortable the decisions made are the right ones.

Plenty of transgender folks, especially younger ones, don't have surgical interventions, or only have smaller surgical interventions. All surgery is painful and dangerous, so unnecessary surgery is always avoided. Expectations around bodies have changed a lot, too.

What really matters is children feel supported in their families and communities. That's what makes the difference between safe kids and kids who are in danger - both in danger from external forces like hate crimes and from internal danger like mental illness and suicide.

Only a tiny part of all of this is genitals. And you shouldn't be worried about other people's children's genitals. None of this is about sex. It's about who kids are, and whether we support them in that or try to gaslight them into thinking they're something else (but broken).

No one is trying to convince their kid to be anything other than what they are. No one is trying to make their kids be trans. Being trans is hard! For the family and the kid. We support our kids because we love them. Because what are we supposed to do, not support them?

I honestly understand why people roll their eyes a little or simply don't get it. It's an unusual situation and one I certainly never expected to find myself in. But any parent can tell you that no child is "usual." And the accommodations really aren't that hard. We can do it.

What are the stakes for a kid? They're everything. Believe me. Comfort in their bodies, in their identities, in the world. What are the stakes for others? Remembering a different name? Remembering to tell them you love them as they are? It is easy for us. So easy.

It's not obvious to me that people who suffer from gender dysphoria are best served by reinforcing their confusion. The truth is, biological boys will always be biological boys. Reality can be hard, but avoiding it or reinforcing their dysphoria is not the solution.