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e_urq's profile
Evan Urquhart
Evan Urquhart
Evan Urquhart
@e_urq

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Evan Urquhart

@e_urq

He/Him. Trans Journo. Views expressed are representative of that Dunkin Donuts I worked in one summer.

Joined March 2009

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    1. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019

      Evan Urquhart Retweeted Stonewall

      Pronouns have never been directly relevant to my gender dysphoria. I do not enjoy being asked about them, nor do I wish for asking about them to be normalized. I changed the pronouns I used a year earlier than I wanted due to pressure from the trans community.https://twitter.com/stonewalluk/status/1184403470125805569 …

      Evan Urquhart added,

      StonewallVerified account @stonewalluk
      It's International @PronounsDay! We've published this great guide on why respecting people's pronouns is important, and how you can step up and be supportive: http://bit.ly/SWPronounsDay  pic.twitter.com/cRAY80rRtw
      Show this thread
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Show this thread
    2. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019

      The trans community were not comfortable with my honest answer about pronouns at the time, which was that I preferred everyone to use "she/her" and my birth name until I began passing.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Show this thread
    3. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019

      For the sake of being accepted and not making waves during my early transition (a vulnerable and frankly terrifying time), I started using a male name and male pronouns before I was passing, which greatly exacerbated my gender dysphoria.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Show this thread
    4. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019

      I don't blame the trans community for this, by the by. An out trans man using she/her fuels transphobes' bigotry. Making passing central to transition fuels their bigotry. But, the fact remains: My comfort was secondary to concerns about how things would seem to transphobes.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Alyssa Hauk‏ @BAlyssaHauk 16 Oct 2019
      Replying to @e_urq

      definitely a fucky issue to navigate. i think we've discussed before how much i HATE professors/employers that force the people they're in charge of to out themselves to strangers or willfully encourage their own misgendering. that said --

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    6. Alyssa Hauk‏ @BAlyssaHauk 16 Oct 2019
      Replying to @BAlyssaHauk @e_urq

      -- being misgendered seriously grates on me and hurts my feelings, even though i know i don't pass particularly well atm. i don't think forced sharing is the answer, but i really do wish cis people could make the slightest fucking effort to be cool about this kinda shit.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    7. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019
      Replying to @BAlyssaHauk

      What I'd like would be for people to be honest about how there are competing interests in trans politics. In the grand scheme of things, I made a small sacrifice. But it WAS a sacrifice. Few things are completely win win.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    8. Alyssa Hauk‏ @BAlyssaHauk 16 Oct 2019
      Replying to @e_urq

      yeah, of course. the needs and interests of trans women are different from trans men, and between binary and non-binary trans folx, and white folx and trans people of color, and etc., and it sucks. it may not be a zero sum game every second of every day, but yeah.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    9. Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019
      Replying to @BAlyssaHauk

      Oh yeah, it's definitely not a zero sum game where we should all be at each others throats. Usually the stakes are small, like in this example. I do worry, a bit, that the form of our rejection of transmedicalists could undermine our right to treatment if we're not careful.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Evan Urquhart‏ @e_urq 16 Oct 2019

      In that example, we know there is a strong, organized conservative political group who opposes medical transition. And, I think people aren't concerned enough about the ways our language about medical transition might inadvertently help their case.

      9:02 AM - 16 Oct 2019
      • 1 Like
      • Alyssa Hauk
      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        1. New conversation
        2. Alyssa Hauk‏ @BAlyssaHauk 16 Oct 2019
          Replying to @e_urq

          i absolutely get that. i'm not sure that there's whole precedent for concern at this point, but i understand the fear, and i've thought about it too. as a community we occupy such a fucking stupid and impossible position of having to accept and support one another in our myriad

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Alyssa Hauk‏ @BAlyssaHauk 16 Oct 2019
          Replying to @BAlyssaHauk @e_urq

          experiences and needs while also very strongly affirming that EVERYBODY'S needs be taken care of. do you need dysphoria or surgery to be trans? absolutely not. do people with dysphoria who need surgery deserve to have it? unequivocally yes.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation

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