IO first impressions: Dramatic voice over opening with standard sci fi apocalypse throat clearing. 100 ships apparently left earth for IO. https://twitter.com/mosquito_chaser/status/1086443011846762496 …
My turn to rage pause. Elon sez, great science babe, imagine what you could find in a WHOLE NEW GALAXY? AM I TO BELIEVE THAT HUMANITY HAS SEARCHED THE ENTIRE MILKY WAY FOR LIFE ALREADY, and are moving on? People just don't understand how big galaxies are.
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Because she's in a movie, duh. https://twitter.com/mosquito_chaser/status/1086460770739662848 …
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There's too much bad entomology in this movie. We're trying not to keep pausing.
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The gist is- boyfriend is a true believer in leaving Earth behind, Dad thinks Earth is gonna shake it off and be cool if they're patient. A conflict indeed!
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I hope the movie doesn't show us this in real time. https://twitter.com/mosquito_chaser/status/1086464831475965952 …
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25 minutes in we finally see another character. Daddy? Nope, it's a new guy. Balloon Man., bc he showed up in a hot air balloon.
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Balloon Man is quoting Plato. Cassie: He's basically quoting the Spice Girls. https://twitter.com/mosquito_chaser/status/1086469559706542081 …
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Balloon Man looks like a dollar store version of Will Smith from Wild Wild West. Cass thinks he and Girl Sam will likely fuck. I think she's right.
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Faster-than-light communication with IO is assumed. And faster-than-light travel, too if they're going to Andromeda (for no good reason bc the Milky Way is huge). *sigh*
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Twist: Dad's dead, Sam's psycho, and now Balloon Man has decided to evacuate Psycho Sam to IO against her will. It's for her own good. (She is pouting about this, but she's been pouting her way through the entire movie so why stop now.)
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I predict: She will find ONE BEE that can live without oxygen.
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Cassie doesn't think IO is real, which would solve the FTL communication, and make sense with her being psycho and all.
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Update: I was right about the one bee. She's a virgin queen. Metaphor alert!
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This straight people romance really bogs the armageddon/space exploration story down in this movie as in all others.
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They're having a camp out at helium junction, before leaving in the Man's Balloon. It's all very dull, unfortunately. I'm actually missing the bad science.
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Psycho Sam is stopping to see an art exhibit with an hour to go before balloons away. In a better paced script I can imagine this moment being beautiful and weighted and tense, but as it is it is slooooooow.
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