I like to think I'd be better at talking to him about respecting both passing and non-passing trans people if he was just a cis boy. He's... not. It's complicated. He's a very femme, gender-questioning AMAB who was forced to present masculine before he got to us.
So, my kid saw a picture of activists from Yes on 3 celebrating the victory and the only thing he said was "They're all obviously trans."
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He reminds me of myself. The obsession with passing, and with trans people's looks, is exactly how I was pre-transition.
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Today, I love the diversity of trans identities and expressions. But if I hadn't finally stumbled on the knowledge that T pretty universally results in a cis-male-passing appearance, I'd probably still be closeted.
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So, how do I talk to a gender nonconforming kid who has this incredibly familiar bad attitude of scrutinizing how well every trans person passes?
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