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I guess my ideas about bar fights were informed by a value on consent- I imagined opponents who were equally looking for trouble- and maybe that was romanticizing it more than I should.
I don't know quite how to put it... but I guess I spent my youth with a yearning for roughness, a feeling of being too contained, too forced to be nice all the time... and a bar fight was the promised land in a weird way.
I worked as a bartender for 10yrs, & (unfortunately) have had 2 deal w/ more than my share of alcohol related problems & alcoholism (both @ work & ppl in my personal life). Experience & research has shown me alcohol related violence is not gendered, its genetically predisposed.*
I've witnessed & heard about bar fights involving both male & female patrons pretty equally. Though they almost always begin w/ 1 person getting upset & attacking another person w/o the other person necessarily wanting 2 engage, or even seeing it coming, & it escalates frm there.
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