My wife just explained effect and affect to me and I think maybe I get it now
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I've sat here for some time thinking about it — affect is process (verb) and effect is result (noun) or, if they're both verbs, affect is influence and effect is cause — but likely I only think that makes sense because it's always totally obvious to me which one to use anyway
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One is usually a noun and the other a verb was the part of my wife's explanation that will be the most useful.
End of conversation
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