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  1. Pinned Tweet
    27 Dec 2016

    On the way back to Berlin with Kork! My heart just grew so big for this little guy! 💞🐶💞

  2. 6 hours ago

    It's 2017 and in Germany cannot lookup your account information by your name and/or phone number.

  3. Jun 4

    TFW you shared a tender twilight moment in a real life hamster wheel.

  4. Jun 4

    Holy fucking humidity Batman.

  5. Jun 3
  6. Jun 3

    I want to remember this day because they will never be this fresh or this white ever again. Like my soul.

  7. Jun 3

    I hope my neighbors are appreciating the Juicy J radio station I created as much as I am!

  8. Retweeted
    Jun 2

    Someone just screamed "FUCK YOU PAUL RYAN" while we were inserting her IUD and I've never laughed so hard in my life

  9. Jun 3
    Replying to

    Hmm... I'm not sure it's big enough. Definitely needs more pillows too.

  10. Jun 3

    I am happy to announce that after six weeks of having only one chair to sit on, my new couch has finally arrived!

  11. Jun 3

    TFW someone you just met tells you someone you maybe only said five words to EVER is talking shit about you.

  12. Jun 2

    This Hasir got the best hip hop tracks bangin' right now.

  13. Jun 2
  14. Jun 2
    Replying to

    Well at least he had the courtesy to call. But he isn't showing up.

  15. Jun 2

    Anyone wanna bet this washing machine repair man won't show up?

  16. Retweeted
    Jun 1

    Very much enjoying the German press at the moment. "Earth to Trump..."

  17. Jun 2

    While looking for a specific article on Berliner Kurier, I found this fine piece of journalism.

  18. Jun 1
    Replying to
  19. Jun 1

    Barely slept thanks to a leak in my bathroom ceiling dripping all night. DRIP DRIP DRIP. Woke up to an email saying no shower until fixed.

  20. Jun 1

    TWF your package was delivered to the neighbor who verbally attacked you and you'd rather not even go down to collect it.

  21. Jun 1

    Berlin ?: when there is a bike path between the sidewalk and a tram stop, when the tram is stopped for pickup do bikes have to stop too?

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