A whole lot of tongue biting going on for me lately. Just generally perpetually furious and frustrated and, probably worse - I suppose - feeling /unwelcome/ with how hostile the industry feels atm. Like, is this lockdown making people lose it?
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Feeling v burned out, tired and bored of it. We talk a lot about how compensation drives many out of this line of work; they 'age out' of it thru needing more money. We also talk about the toll of the pace & load. Less discussed- how draining & toxic it is. No wonder people walk.
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I think the thing that's most frustrating - obviously - is as a semi-marginalized/minority (though not nearly as marginalized as others), seeing those who want to be allies making it worse, oblivious. Or worse, making it worse behind-closed-doors, possibly /knowing/ that.
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Anyway, I've had an incredibly trying week with a funeral and all sorts so maybe my head isn't in the best place to process! But maybe, I think on a day like today, we also all shouldn't have to process all this shit. Anyway. I'm taking tomorrow off.
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I want to be clear btw that when I say about the toxicity I'm not even talking about the audience; I expect a portion of them to be shitheads. All the Deadly Premonition abuse yesterday is water off a duck's bath to me. It's the stuff coming from 'inside' that grinds me down.
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Maybe this is just part of transitioning into your thirties, but I used to have so much time and energy to fight and kick and scream and I just look at it all now and think "I cannot do this shit"
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I'm so sorry Alex. I'm glad you're in this industry -- your work is good and important, and you yourself are good and important independent of that. Hope you can find some respite from it all soon.
Wydaje się, że ładowanie zajmuje dużo czasu.
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