Happy #Pride!
I want to share something really cool that I learned recently about gender and language, because it made my struggle with my queerness a lot less infuriating when I did learn this.
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For those who may not know, I’ve recently come out as queer femme, and I chose that because I feel like it encompasses all of who I am. Pan, poly, and genderqueer. I also stopped strictly identifying as female, annnnnnd have been stuck in the gender void for a hot minute.
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It’s been hard for me to describe the feeling of dysphoria and why I don’t fit into the binary to myself, and to others. And it’s not because I haven’t been trying, it’s literally because English doesn’t have a way to do that. There are no “grammatically correct” words.
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The way you describe your gender does not have to be grammatically correct, by the way, let me be clear.
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But similarly, French, Spanish, and Italian, every word is conjugated within the constraints of male and female. English falls into this too, though we don’t literally refer to objects as male and female in most cases.
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The woman I nanny for can speak about six languages—she’s European! I only speak two. But according to her, Russian has about five different ways to express gender. It’s not just a binary of male and female.
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So if you’re like me, stuck in the void and desperately trying to find the right words to describe who you are, it’s not just you.
You’re not failing
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And that opens up a whole other discussion on how language can influence society’s views on particular issues—but I won’t get into that. Anyway. Hi. I love my void self a lot more knowing my difficulty describing my experience isn’t wholly because of me. I’m not a failure.
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Love to everything that's you, Aiden, thank you for sharing this. <3
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