This month has sucked. Aside from the emotional toll of a separation from my partner of seven years and my dogs and a move to a new city after 28 years in my hometown, my whole body fought me every step of the way.
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A few weeks ago, I wasn't able to eat...most things. Like I was barely getting down Jello and applesauce, was horrible dehydrated, had debilitating stabbing pains from my stomach all the way down to my bladder, no energy to do anything...
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I couldn't even sleep. No position was comfortable. I spent four days in the hospital only to be told it was a viral infection and would clear up, but healing was just...slow as hell. Monday last week I had six hours of the worst heartburn I've ever had because I ate...something?
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But since Wed, I have woken up without pain. Gone to the bathroom without suddenly becoming breathless for several minutes. Cooked meals (eggs! benedict!) and eaten them with no repercussions. Slept through the night. Today I got through an entire yoga practice without stopping.
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So, I think I'm better finally. They still are going to follow up to make sure there was nothing more serious behind that month-long horror (as they should) but...my body seems like it's ready to do everything it used to.
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That means this week I guess it's time to start working on my heart, and figuring out what my life looks like now in a new city on my own. I've been trying to build routines just around the apartment, but loneliness after so long is hard.
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I'm not at all a selfless person and never have been. But I think for anyone it can be hard to suddenly have to answer at every non-work second of the day, without considering anyone else, "What do *I* want/need right now?"
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Anyway, hopefully that is the last you or anyone else has to hear about this hell month beyond "I went to the doctor and there are no long-term horrible diseases affecting me!"
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Thank you so much to all my friends and family who have loved me, been patient with me, brought me things, stayed the fuck away as needed (I very often wanted absolutely no one and nothing), and stuck with me. I love you and am so grateful.
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ONE MORE NOTE. Thank you thank you THANK YOU to my gracious and kind editors at both GIBiz and MoNa
@BrendanSinclair@MattHandrahan@Appaholik and@russellholly for giving me the time and space to get well. I am better because I could take time to get better.Pokaż ten wątek
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